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Darkness Falls (WAT) 4/? [Apr. 29th, 2006|06:35 pm]
[mood |bouncy]
[music |Kelly Clarkson - Why]

Author: Shirley Parker

Summary: Years later Samantha and Martin maintain a relationship, but it’s not what you think!

Disclaimer: They are not mine. If they were I would probably freak out and start to write about the wedding today. Yeah, I am silly like that.

Rating: NC

Thanks to riotofstars for being mine wonderfull beta. Thanks sweetie. I loved your little coments.

Also thanks for the people who wanted to beta this chapter.

Okay, I know I don't update much, but this chapter is soooo big (15 freaking pages on word) I hope people forgive me for being such a lazy writer. In two days I'll be in my mid term tests week so I only will start the next chapter next wednesday.

Chapter 4: Empty Spaces

Samantha sighed deeply when Sarah leisurely approached her, a graspable reluctance on her walk and what she could easily identify as an intrigued expression, signalizing that eventually there was going to be an interrogation about the incident in Jack’s office. Unluckily, Samantha couldn’t avoid the repercussions of her acts and lying about the reasons which led her to yell at her boss would be an extremely hard task, manageable certainly but nevertheless mentally excruciating. Sarah was someone highly perceptive who could smell a lie within miles making deception a very difficult “art”. The agent literally noticed everything around her, mesmerizing every little foot note about body language.

Honestly, Sam didn’t know if she could stay dissembling everyone around her; specially when energy seemed to be dissipating slowly, abandoning her in a crucial moment of her life.

She was so tired... so tired.

Samantha bit her lower lip pungently trying to recompose herself by focusing her attention on something else besides her feelings. She knew the human brain had a gating mechanism for pain, registering the most severe injury, blocking in the process the other sensations. She wanted to take advantage of it. Regrettably physical pain wasn’t helping her to find the necessary balance and serenity; It was such brief distraction for her problems it went by almost unnoticed. The wounds were too deep to be neglected, like shards of glass penetrate her heart so deeply the pain was automatically on her exterior.

“I understand Sam” – Sarah plainly said, sitting by Sam’s side and clasping her hand tightly.

Samantha gasped loudly in the process. No preachy speeches seemed to be more disarming and effective than reproaching words. There wasn’t much fortitude left on her. Thank God she was a few yards from the FBI building, in a coffee shop she used to frequent.

“Don’t tell anyone about this, please” – Sam implored.

“I won’t, In spite of the fact there is nothing to be ashamed of... bad days are just... bad days Sam. You have to try stay in control of what you can and share the burn with those around you when you can’t. And no matter how down you are, remember that things eventually get better” – Sarah replied, earnestly.

“I feel like I’m a completely idiot” – Samantha said, starting to cry more profusely when she realized she didn’t have any control over her emotions. The whole situation was very stressful and to pretend nothing was happening was an emotional load she couldn’t handle – “I am so sorry for acting the way I did in front of Jack... It wasn’t about you or the case he assigned to me. I was frustrated I guess”.

“This much I got figured out from the shouting... Do you want to tell me why you were so mad?” – She asked candidly, her analytical mind started to work on possible theories for Samantha’s outburst.

She really couldn’t help herself, sometimes being a psychologist was what defined her, a second skin.

“Not really... at least for now. And please, don’t try to interrogate me because I’ll lie to you”.

Sarah sighed, opening up was a necessary step to make things better but it was also the hardest thing. She knew it better than anyone.

“Okay, so can I just tell you what I assume is obvious for me? You don’t need to reply if you don’t want to”.

Samantha nodded idly.

“David helped you in the difficult transition to a new city when you felt you couldn’t count on anybody, even Martin because he either was out of place too or you didn’t want confrontations. So you feel like you own David and when Jack decided to re-assign us it resulted in indignation towards everyone you think holds the responsibility you’re out Wilson's case... but specially at yourself and this is what bothers you the most. You feel like you’re failing David. You also dread the fact that even though you don’t like the lack of control of this moment, deep down you felt relieved because it’s not in your hands anymore and this makes you feel ungrateful, selfish and guilty”.

Samantha looked at Sarah, silently agreeing with her. Her assumptions were close enough to the truth and she brought good points Samantha hadn’t considered before. Of course she didn’t know all the facts, the real truth behind the months she lived in DC but there was accuracy and wisdom on her words.

“What you feel is not selfish Sam, it shows you’re human. The sense of self protection is in our genes. You shouldn’t try to be a heroine when in reality there is no such a thing as a flawless character. Jack made a good call today and you shouldn’t punish yourself because of it. Trust me when I said it’s for the best”.

Samantha closed her eyes, feeling relieved, she has been looking for forgiveness for such a long time.

“Trust me Sam” – Martin announced once while he played with her hair – “You can tell me everything”.

Trust was a tricky thing.

“Did I tell you Martin almost proposed to me in here?” – Samantha questioned, smiling at the recollection of the day he shyly confessed to her – “According to him it almost worked out. He was so willing to make the perfect marriage proposal that he actually tried five times... Five times can you believe it? And I swear God that I didn’t notice what he was up to till the last minute possible”.

“How could you not? A guy does special things for you five days in a row and you think it’s nothing?” – Sarah laughed.

“Hey, you should be there to understand why. In the end, he popped up the question doing the most disastrous marriage proposal of the story” – She laughed too.

“Really?” – Sarah asked, amused.

“Everything went so wrong that it ended up being right. Our car broke, my 200 dollars shoes end up ruined, which may I add I’m still not over, the restaurant we were supposed to have a date in burnt down before we even had a chance to enter…he started to act weird around me while we watched the establishment burst into flames so I asked him, as a joke off course, if he was trying to propose” – She smiled – “And when I finally got it, he was hit by a man whose shirt was burning”.

“Wow, was the man on fire?” – Sarah asked horrified, she used to work on a hospital before applying to the FBI and she’d assisted a few burning victims. She was never going to forget the agony behind their screams.

“The man ended up fine, Martin on the other hand was rushed to the hospital unconscious... and wet. When the guy run towards us like a human fireball and jumped in the waterfall he not only hit Agent Fitzgerald but also almost drowned him. I have no idea how it happens and I’m seriously not making this up. I saw my boyfriend and a strange man falling into a artificial lake”.

“Well this is a hell of a bizarre story. What made you say yes?” – Sarah asked casually, trying not to push Samantha away with her curiosity.

“The fact he was perfect played a big factor so it really didn’t matter how it all happened. Plus, after he woke up in the hospital things became quite perfect” – Samantha replied, smiling broadly at the memory.

“I’m sorry about the way things ended up tonight and I’ll understand if you say no to my question but I’m going to try anyway. Samantha, I wrote a list of reasons why you should marry me because I knew that convincing you to drop your idealism wasn’t going to be an easy task. Unfortunately the list is gone, my mind is misty because of the drugs and for some reason everything I try to say or do ends up being cheesy: I learned how to say “You complete me” on sign language just like the Tom Cruise movie you love, I tried to sing so I could make a serenade for you however I stink at singing, I wrote a list but this you already know. I could even learn how to dance polka if this guarantees you’re going to say yes. But in the end the only thing I can say is that I love you and I only can give you my unconditional love, it’s not much I know, but everything else sounds very overrated somehow... and yeah I have to confess I lie on the list so you could find me more compelling”.

Samantha laughed, he couldn’t be any less perfect.

“I loved, love, will love you: Past, present, future Sam...for my whole existence and beyond, for eternity if you want me too”

He paused.

“Okay, this could end up being cheesy so let me try again”.

Sam looked at Martin’s nervous face knowing instantly what she had to say. It was the only thing to do, specially after the display of love.

She had to face the truth, she lost the battle a long time ago. No more hiding and running from the inevitable.

“No, this is perfect Martin. Just the way it’s supposed to be” – Samantha said, it was strange how fearless and emotional she felt – “Martin, I want to be your wife”.

“Really?” – He sounded surprised and it almost hurt her – “Oh God, where is the ring? You know, once you got the ring you can’t change your mind”.

He smirked, making her smile.

“I give it to Danny so it could be safe, he says he is already training to be the best man. The bastard didn’t even let me see the ring. I wonder if he is going to be this secretive about the bachelor party” – Samantha groaned, making him laugh in the process.

Martin grinned when he visualized a bouquet of flowers standing by his side. There was a lace made of a soft fabric small enough to make an improvised wedding ring. Martin picked up his flowers, untied it and enveloped Sam’s fingers with the piece of tissue.

She smiled, they were happy. She didn’t need to say it out loud.

“We married five months later and things were pretty good ‘till his mother got sick. So Martin had to stay in DC to take care of her and he ended up becoming a politician. I couldn’t find a place in his life, I didn’t have a job that suited me and I was miserable. We divorced after a while. It was a pretty bad day” – She said, her mind wandering back to the day she signed the papers.

After the lawyers left the room, carrying the papers that would dissolve their union, Samantha stared at Martin, her eyes boring into his figure like she was hypnotized by his presence. She didn’t expect, yet hoped time would stand still and give her a few more minutes with him, but even the seconds seemed to work against her and the clock continued to tick reminding them time wasn’t merciful or able to delay certain things. She wanted to extend the final moments with her now ex husband, to hold on, but another second went by and she had to remind herself why she couldn’t.

She collected her purse and searched for her car keys, trying to leave the room as quickly as possible but their eyes locked briefly, disturbing her. What she saw on them wasn’t what she expected: there wasn’t coldness, rage, betrayal or love.

There was only sadness and she wasn’t prepared for that.

Her hedges crumbled a little bit after the silent revelation.

He would miss her.

She would miss him too: his companionship, intimate touches, laugh, the occasional bad humor he exhibited in the morning, the meaningful glances, the list was incalculable and at the same time very simple.

Love was a plain fact, life taught her that.

Martin’s face was blanched and she could tell he wasn’t sleeping well, his dashed expression managing to break her heart a little bit more (if it was possible) making her stare at the floor, the guilt eating her alive. Their love should overcome everything, but unfortunately life wasn’t the fairly-tale media seemed to sell and she had to found a safe get away.

He almost convinced her love was possible, but that was reality.

Her cynical side was likely pleased now she was mourning over the things she lost. There was some sick predictability on all that, something she always pictured would happen and she managed to achieve. The anger she felt widened to self-loathe.

She ruined their future too.

They had a future, they had a life ahead of them and she grieved for that.

She tried to sidle away but he gripped her wrist, making her heart flutter and her pulse accelerate. She knew he felt it, the slim fabric of her jacket couldn’t mask the pulsation of her arteries, an indirect reaction to her heartbeats.

Sam could fix things, his touch was almost persuasive enough for her to do it, almost convincing her to make things right. The whole plot she designed to go back to NY sounded repugnant when he touched her. An exceedingly cowardly act.

Samantha interlocked her fingers with his, feeling the cold surface of his wedding ring, matching hers. She didn’t have the nerve to take it off yet. It was too symbolic, a real evidence of the end.

Irony again, after all, she wanted to be out of his life.

She succeeded.

Martin rested his head against a bookshelf, establishing an oblique position between them, making eye contact impossible. She didn’t complain, it was unwanted anyway, his eyes inflicted a lot of harm.

Being in the same room as Martin Fitzgerald was hazarding, dangerous and unpredictable.

“I’m still completely in love with you Sam” – He bluntly said.

Her eyes clamped shut, tears merging.

“But when the pain subsides, I’m going to hate you... my heart may be too cold and injured to remember that I loved you ” – He continued, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

“I don’t expect any less” – She replied.

Samantha could only hope this moment didn’t close her heart for good too.

“Sam, if you say you still love me we...”

Don’t fucking call me Sam, she wanted to scream.

He needed to stay in the hate zone.

“This won’t change anything” – She interrupted him – “You will picture me having sex with David forever Martin. Our marriage is irreparable”.

He flinched and for a second Samantha felt she won the battle.

“Damn it Samantha, I’m really trying to hate, forgive or get over you” – He said sternly.

His thumb started to caress her wedding ring, the tip of his finger sliding over the shimmering surface.

Samantha turned to face Martin, kissing him in the process, feeling the taste of their salty tears combined. She never felt so sad in her entire life.

“I’m sorry” – Samantha said, biting her lower lip.

“I don’t think it matters Samantha... This won’t change what it happens” – He replied, surly.

“You’re right Martin, nothing will change what happened between us... good or bad and I’ll always...”

Martin didn’t let her finish the sentence, kissing her deeply, his tongue caressing hers slowly.

Why had he kissed her?


God damn it why?

It made things hundred times more difficult.

“Goodbye” – She whispered against his lips.

She left.

“Are you still in love with him Samantha? Because it seems you’re still hung up on your ex”.

Samantha sighed, she was walking on thin ice.

Could Sarah handle the awful truth?

“Yes I am” – She avowed.

“It’s what you feel Samantha and unfortunately you can’t run away from it” –Sometimes, Sarah didn’t understand the tortuous paths love took.

It should be easier.

“I know” – She breathed.

It wasn’t a lie.


The doors of his old apartment revealed the past: good and bad memories were being restored again and former actions haunted him like old ghosts, vivid reminiscences that made him physically ill. Sometimes, Martin didn’t know how to deal with the darkness that use to endure in lonely nights and the fact he was once more in such a representative place for both of them made his heart suffer and question why he was there. The reasons he chosen to stay at his apartment were an enigma to him, probably a masochistic act, some subconscious search for new ways of punish himself.

Or maybe all he wanted was to hate her further, hate her at all. There were times when he couldn’t no matter how hard he tried.

Sometimes he could forget his pride, loose his focus.

But hate was addictive, what he needed to move on, to get the control of his actions and feelings back or at least to search for power. Otherwise, he would break like a porcelain doll.

When Martin was busy hating her he didn’t admit he actually loved her.

It was true hate suited him well, but it was only for short periods of time and he wanted a permanent solution. Apathy seemed to be the only way to achieve what he craved, but the price was too high for him to pay.

He would be empty without her.

If he could, he would let go.

But right now he needed to keep alive his memoirs, preferentially without feeling the oppression love usually brought.

Amanda wasn’t with him and he didn’t ask her to stay, she wanted a place with room service so she checked in a hotel. Martin, on the other hand, didn’t find it animating so he explained to her the necessity of finding familiarity again and she agreed they were better apart. There weren’t any big discussions about it since loneliness seemed to be a common ground in the last years for both. Their marriage was almost a business decision and the indifference between them was severe.

His place was exactly how he left it before, it was something Martin had specifically required when he contracted a house cleaner to take care of the apartment. There was importance behind the act, a way he found to maintain a link to NY, like the fact his house was neat even without his presence was an open window to return home.

In the first months it represented everything, after all there was hope he would come back to a place he was happy before so he didn’t want to erase any traces of his personality. But after he knew there was no going back things shifted and he started to pursue memories, making sure he would recall every single moment he spent with Samantha, even the bad ones.

In his lowest days, he found satisfaction on the reminder she had cheated on him with his friend.

Hate again, or love disguised as dread.

Martin poured scotch, drinking rapidly. Staring at the mirror, he hated his own reflection and the constant thought of his previous wife sleeping with another man. Picturing Samantha moaning another name when she contorted in pleasure made him mad, jealousy consuming him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid bitch.

He threw the glass against the mirror not bothering if he woke up his neighbors. The rage he has been feeling lately reached an unbearable level and he wanted to break every single object of his apartment despite the fact flashes of the day he did it still afflicted him: The bloody hands (product of deep cuts), his bare feet in contact with sharp objects and his shirt tainted with his blood was a scary thought and he didn’t want to live the same nightmare again. Martin could recollect it all except the pain, mainly because the alcohol numbed his feelings. But the humiliating flashes of that day remained.

He stripped his shirt revealing another mistake under the influence of drinks, a recent one that happened after the last time he saw her.

The chronology of his stupid acts always related to Samantha.

Two tattoos were exposed, the biggest one he couldn’t see clearly since it was placed on the right side of his back where located the scapula (AN: It's a bone located in the back, next to the shoulder). He hazily remembered the significance the tattoo had on him: it was to forget her and remind himself to never let another woman have his heart.

The smaller one on his wrist, represented her and the way she marked him.

Only he didn’t know if it was another message of loathe or it was about love.

Martin wanted to be the first case, it didn’t take effort to point out all the wrong things that led them to where they stood. Maybe there were signs he ignored on purpose so they could have a chance.

She would cheat on him eventually? It was so crucial for her screw up everything?

In the end, she wound up being the mistress again, it was an unexpected twist he didn’t see it coming ‘till it hit him.

It made Martin wonder for long nights, thousand of sleepless nights.

The conclusion? Maybe Samantha only liked what she couldn’t have.

She couldn’t have Jack before and now she couldn’t have him fully, although she did carry with her the most important piece of him: his heart. Samantha forgot to send it back and he hide the fact from the others. She was a clandestine cohabitant unable to claim her place.

Sam wasn’t the official owner of his feelings anymore, still didn’t change the fact she did.

The eventual cycle was beginning once again and he was back to times when he couldn’t say he loved her, when there was a lot of insecurity and jealousy around every single step of the way.

Martin really wanted to break the cycle.

He opened his apartment door cautiously, still unsure if letting Samantha in was the best idea in the moment. There was still a dangerous tension hovering in the air, jealousy driving him insane.

They were standing on a delicate ground.

The gracious and provocative movements Samantha made distracted him from his thoughts and desire started to take place, complicating the equation. He knew she had the power to manipulate and there was consciousness behind every single small step she took, a cold calculation to seduce him, but he let himself being tempted by her, his eyes were fixed on her fantastic body, watching her silently. She smiled, siting on his table, her left shoe playing with his chair revealing in the process her sexy underpants.

He gave up of fighting his urges, inching towards her. Samantha’s eyes wildened when the energy surrounding him shifted to something that was almost dangerous, beyond sexy.

Martin grabbed the heel of her shoe, stopping her from playing with the chair, his fingers playing with the charms of a delicate object around her ankle. She lay down on the marble table, the anticipation being built and exciting her.

He was always intense, but not in that way, and she could see changes on him.

“I should expel you from here” – He broke the silence.

She frowned.

“You’re overreacting Martin” – Samantha replied – “It was all an act and you shold know it better”.

“It didn’t seem like an act” – Martin hissed.

Martin’s hands gripped her waist, adjusting her body position, making Samantha sit. Her inner thighs went in contact with the sides of his waist in the process and the closeness of Martin’s body made her automatically aroused.

She couldn’t help it, she was a woman and he was a very attractive man. Her reaction was almost primitive and she let herself being moved by him.

He reached for Samantha’s wrists, placed by her side, giving Samantha a necessary balance and trapping her in the process. Now she couldn’t avoid staring at him.

But looking at her eyes, Martin noticed she was defiant, almost daring him.

How could she?

His blood was boiling inside half because of the sexual tension, half because she was finding the whole situation amusing.

Samantha’s leg wrapped around his waist, bringing him close enough to bite his lower lip, making Martin open his mouth reflexively letting her tongue play a bit with his lips before slipped it into his mouth. As the kiss intensified she couldn’t help but moan softly, the heavy atmosphere was becoming beyond the sexually charged concept: it was raw, crude, filled with a necessity she never felt before.

The pressure in her wrist increased and he broke up the kiss, staring at her.

“Is this some trick to avoid this conversation Samantha?” – He asked, almost affirming actually. Sam could tell he was pissed off, Martin never used her entire name unless he was angry.

“Why did you choose Jack to go undercover with you? To hurt me? To fucking mess with my head? Shall we talk about it Samantha? I had to watch him, touching you” – Martin started to touch Samantha’s thigh just like Jack did, making her moan.

That drove him to an edge.

“Did you moan when he touched you Samantha? Did watching those people fucking each other while Jack touched you turn you on?”.

“You were there, why don’t you answer me? Oh, maybe you can do better and tell me if YOU liked it when agent Stevens kissed you. I bet she enjoyed it and she was willing to do even more. Do you think I went deaf when she talked with you, begging to do you after the case? She wants you Martin, and you knew it when you requested her to join us in the case.”

“You were the one who chose Jack over me first, to pretend he was your husband on that swing party”.

Martin never thought he would be in a swing party, but the last missing person case they investigated was a regular and all of a sudden being undercover seemed to be a rational step; the only way to gain information whilst keeping a low profile. Still, Martin didn’t like the fact Samantha decided to hang out with her ex in that place.

The team solved the case, yet there were implications he didn’t know if he could overcome.

“Jack and I fit the profile Martin, I choose him because of the case and he only accepted it because he doesn’t know about us”.

“He doesn’t know about us because of you” – He pointed out, it bothered him that she didn’t want people to know they were in a relationship.

Why? He wanted to scream out loud.

Still, the answer scared him.

“Did you dress up for him? Did you think about your outfit because you knew he was going to be with you? The red dress, the gorgeous red shoes, the cleavage; was it a kink he had?”

Samantha didn’t like the tune Martin was using, but decided to ignore the fact he was implying something that wasn’t really there. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of having a negative reaction.

Jack didn’t affect her anymore.

She moaned when his hands left her wrists traveling around her body, stopping on her breasts. The fabric of the dress and the absence of a bra revealed she was excited, her nipples hard at the contact. Samantha nibbled his ear lobe to retribute his gesture, making him groan softly.

She knew what flickered him as much as he did with her.

“Why are you so insecure about Jack, Martin? What the fuck do you think he has that you don’t?” – She said, kissing his temples, making Martin close his eyes.

He didn’t answer.

Martin opened his eyes and gripped Samantha’s left heel once again, making her feet rest against the chair. He kissed the extension of her leg and she lay on the table once again, her hand bringing her dress up, enough to reveal her panties. Martin stopped on her knee, biting softly at the scar she got from the shooting years ago, making Samantha groan a little bit louder, stifling more yelps when she slipped her hand into her panties touching herself briefly, feeling how wet she was.

Martin ceased her from doing it, crossing her arms above her head.

“Did your scar turn you on because he saved you? Do you want to call me Jack while I’m doing you?” – He asked, darkly.

He could feel her breathing becoming shallow, partly because her body was corresponding to his touches, party because she was angry at him.

“I don’t know, do your want to call me agent Stevens?” – She replied, avoiding answer his question, it was outrageous.

How could he doubt her?

Martin didn’t want to see the obvious, that she was there with him not her former lover. Samantha wanted Martin, only him.

But it wasn’t the time to confess the importance he had on her life.

He smiled releasing her hands, kissing her breasts before concentrating again on the lower part of her body, kissing and nibbling her inner thighs, playing with her lingerie before stripping it off.

He stood up, lifting a bit more of the fabric of her dress and unzipping his pants.

Martin thrust into her, making Samantha squirm and face him. Only a few lights of the apartment were on but he still could see her face clearly, Martin could read her features and he saw something wild in there.

He wished he could read if there was more into it.

Samantha took off his jacket, not being patient enough to umbutton his shirt. She ripped it off: the navy blue shirt she happened to love, the buttons making noises when it hit the ground like raindrops.

The urgency spoke louder.

“Will you be thinking about him while I’m fucking you Samantha?” – He asked.

Martin really wanted to know.

“Screw you Martin” – She scoffed off.

She liked him, HIM.

Oh God, him.

Sam kissed him angrily, running his fingers through his soft hair. Her heart was pumping so hard, so damn hard.

She stripped his shirt, her fingers studying his chest carefully.

His heart beat in the same pace as hers.

Martin continued to move, making Samantha’s feet push the chair and letting it hit the ground too. Her nails dug in his back and she fought the urge to curse out loud.

He knew she loved to curse.

Martin watched her face changing followed by her breathing patterns and he knew she was ready. She climaxed and minutes after he came too. For the first time he didn’t feel in the mood to kiss her after the act since he felt used by her. There was no future ahead when seeds of doubt were planted.

Was he just a fuck buddy?

It felt like when she didn’t share anything with him. He hated her, for making him feel so bad, so insecure when she was with Jack. He wasn’t interested in being the rebound guy.

“Did I hurt you?” – He asked, worried by her quietness.

“Did my mind – blowing orgasm tell you otherwise?” – She replied, surly.

“Unfortunately this seems to sum up our relationship right? One big fucking mind blowing orgasm. What am I to you Samantha? Really...”

She got mute when he desperately wanted her to speak.

Even if it was a lie.

“Maybe you should go back to Jack now he is available” – He said, sad.

She recomposed herself, dressing up. Samantha murmured something and walked towards the door stopping for a minute before turn to him. Martin dressed up too, without saying a word.

She felt hurt.

“See Martin, I picked up this particular dress for you. When I was in the swing club all I wanted was to go home and be with you. I want you already, what do you think Jack could possibly have that would make me go back to him?”

Martin sighed.

“Your heart Sam”.

She stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re so fucking clueless Martin” – She stated before turning her back at him, opening the door.

He didn’t follow her.

Samantha loved him, she loved him when she turned back and left heart broken.

It was her secret at the time.

There was something about her look, after she said ‘he was clueless’, it always intrigued him. Now that the memories seemed to be free, after a long period of repression Martin could almost swear she was hiding something from him.

He had to find her.


I also wanted to say that the dialog of the pain mechanism was a bit "borrowed" from House md.

Thanks for all the lovely reviews.

I hoped you guys enjoyed, the steamy part was kind of inspired by In the cut *blushes*.

PS: I know the whole marriage tale was way over the top but honestly I don't care :P.

[User Picture]From: specialfrog
2006-05-09 01:20 pm (UTC)
ive been reading ur ficts lately and i love this one! Please update soon- i can't wait to see what happens when he finds her.

Love SF

ps can you give me a timeline indication since their last affair meeting and his arrival in NY.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: shiparker
2006-06-18 02:10 pm (UTC)
7 months, I wrote it in the 3rd chapter.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: specialfrog
2006-05-12 06:23 am (UTC)
do you know where i can find some more d/m stuff- i a new fan and i love them. Id love to be able to find some vids of them, especially about their relationship as im struggling to piece together everything that happened between them.

Ta and please update ya ficts soon- i love all of them!
(Reply) (Thread)
From: shiparker
2006-06-18 02:07 pm (UTC)
I have no idea a site of MD. But Loozy is a shipper so you may be lucky :).
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2006-07-14 11:30 pm (UTC)


Oh my god this story is amazing. please update!!!!!
(Reply) (Thread)
From: shiparker
2006-07-14 11:35 pm (UTC)


I'm already doing researchs to the next chapter. I figure out what to do in the next chapter. Tomorrow I probably will start the first part of the chapter. It will take a while because this fanfiction is a tough cookie but I promise the chapter will be big :).

Thanks for the review :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2006-10-08 11:30 pm (UTC)


Please, keep writing. This is my favorite fanfic, the best one. I just want to reed more. Please update soon
(Reply) (Thread)
From: shiparker
2006-10-08 11:53 pm (UTC)

Re: pleeeaaaaaaaaaaase

Don't worry, I'm working on it. I'm in the middle of tests but I wrote a small special feature that didn't work in the chapter 5 and I'll post soon. I also wrote half of the 5th chapter. I'm stubborn, I won't abandon this fic. Thanks for the review :).
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)