||[Feb. 3rd, 2006|06:41 am]
This may be the weirdest thing I ever wrote in my life. Fluffy is not really my thing but I guess I did okay.|
Title: Paper dolls
Author: Shirley Parker
Summary: A simple conversation can lead to unexpected results.
Disclaimer: They are not mine . If they were I would probably freak out and start to write the wedding today . Yeah , I am silly like that .
Thanks for my lovely beta review Sammie. Thank you, thank you thank you.
This is my first fluffy (WAT one). I hope is decent because I don't write fluff. Off course it's PG. This fanfiction is kind of about nothing so don't you guys say I didn't warn you .
The pale yellow walls, of the small room fascinate her. Not the color itself, it was a very bland and common type of yellow, and she could see it lost its original color in some parts, but the display of attention in every single detail of the place captivates her. She could see there were people who cared about that little girl, the small and fragile creature, that not so long ago was playing in the park. A girl that now was among many cases they got everyday.
Sam held her tears, but it was hard not to cry. Their work was even more delicate when it involved children.
She turned around, the white desk revealing paper dolls freshly made, probably by her mother. The small paper dolls hold a delicate feature and even the thin and cheap paper didn’t make them less beautiful. It was fruit of love, unconditional love only parents use to nurture for their children.
Sam used to make paper dolls when she was younger, she remember that much; it was one of the moments in her life she allowed to be just a kid, full of dreams about a better life and occasionally a prince charming, at the end of the horizon. Too bad the dreams died with her and sometimes she missed the honesty and innocence of her early days, at least the small moments of innocence she was aware that she had.
Because, although she knew people born innocent and untainted, she was a girl with no dad and it hurt her beyond words; so she learned how to close herself pretty early. No one would ever leave her because she would never care enough to get hurt.
“Whether you like it or not, some day someone will open your heart and it’s going to be harder for you come in terms with your feelings if you close them now”, one of her friends told her one day..
It was the plain truth.
“Did you find something relevant?” – The new acquisition of the team, Elena Delgado asked. Samantha looked at her for a moment, wondering if there was part of her who feared for her own daughter in that moment. Maybe she did in some imperceptive level, but just like Vivian she couldn’t drag her emotions to home. Jack did and it destroyed his life.
“Nothing” – Samantha shrugged.
Elena noticed Sam’s interest on the paper dolls and wondered if they meant something to her, or it was just the eagerness of the case affecting her, but she didn’t asked. She still felt very uncomfortable working on the MPU, partly because it wasn’t the kind of job she pursued on the first place and partly because she didn’t want any more emotional baggage than the burn she already has gained in the course of the years with her job and her love life. It almost came to a point where she didn’t care about bad results or ugly cases anymore because it became routine to her.
And she couldn’t do it to her daughter, care too much, because it only takes one case to fall down and be in the dark once again.
She excused herself when Martin Fitzgerald entered the room. If there is something that caught her attention in the couple of months she worked with them, was the connection between the two agents. She could bet it was deeper than the eyes meet but she didn’t want to draw any unnecessary speculation over their relationship.
“I have great news” – Martin said, full dimples and all. It made Sam’s heart lighter and suddenly a flash of hope touched her – “She is safe Sam”.
Her smile was full of relief, shifting to a smile of pure recognition that everything she looked for in her entire life was standing in front of her the whole time. Simple acceptation strokes her.
“We are all paper dolls right?” – She asked. The comparison itself sounded very unusual and at some point a little bit off, probably insane but she just said it, hoping he would understand her.
“You mean, because we are all fragile like thin paper? Because people can burn or ripped us apart?” – Martin questioned her, still not getting why she was talking about that subject.
“I had a more hopeful view on it actually. Because despite all the frailty in our lives and despite all the hurt, there is always hope there is someone that can fix us, glue us and mend what was damaged before”.
He approached her and she instinctively enlaced her hands with his, the intimate gesture confusing him, and at the same time bringing him a cheer and hope he didn’t experience in a long time… not since he almost died in the cold streets of NY. It was weird to connect to her in the middle of the mists of somebody’s room, full of strangers that could easily not only, break the moment but assume things she tried to avoid for such a long time.
But the truth was they’ve walking in circles, just to end up in the same point. The point that leads people to the correct assumption both didn’t want to make because of personal problems and fears. But they always end up going back to the beginning, after giggles there was the seriousness and meaningful glances they couldn’t deny.
“You’re the only one who mended me and ripped apart at the same time Martin” – She said, not knowing why she open herself that much. Maybe it was time to let go. Because someone said to her a long time ago not to bring to her life all the misery and pain of her past and this someone was right. She loved, she closed herself because of her feelings but her prince broke her and healed her and hurt her all at once. But she was glad he did.
Because now she was free.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you” – Martin whispered. The proximity they shared was awakening their senses.
“You did hurt me, but strangely it made me realize no matter how much I tried I would never be safe in my life. People touch you, its something unavoidable” – She smiled – “This is so weird. Why am I rambling about this?”
“It was a though case; sometimes those things make you think in terms that don’t necessarily have to relate, I guess”.
“But it does, because we born innocents like this girl, Martin. And we grow up as hard people because there was not enough love in our lives. But what I realize today it’s when I am with you I got moments back and this makes me wonder if someday we can be mended again. I think we’re in denial here”
He looked at her, confused as hell.
She smiled, searching for him, caressing his face before pulling it in her encounter in a kiss she missed. She loved him, he loved her and nothing else really matters. Not the other agents in the place, not Elena, and obviously their problems because they would get through them.
“We were in denial” – He corrected her, smiling.
“Right” – She smiled.
“So… it was all because of paper dolls?”
“Let me say this was just a chain of unrelated thoughts that lead us to the ground zero. Because in one way or another things always came back to you”
Martin chuckled, not knowing how to read between the lines. He could either interpret her statement as a silent ‘I love you’ or just a way for her to express he did imprint something in her heart.
He hoped for the first, after all he was optimist by nature.